I have been clean long enough to have grandchildren and adult children. Due to some upheavals in my family, I find myself feeling as I did when I left my own small children 25 years ago. I have an NA meeting this afternoon and an Area service meeting but emotionally I feel shattered and distraught.
There was powerlessness in the first leaving which saw the end of my using and the beginning of recovery and there is powerlessness once more as a grandmother and mother.
Maybe, I take today to initiate and begin to feel the grief of not having easy access to the dearly beloved little girl that they call Mini-Me. Years of recovery have not reduced my emotional range at all. Just don’t pick up.