Too weary once more to write much. Too blurred in the head and feeling quite odd. I enjoyed today but felt less well .
The pool from next door was taken away today. I would like to swim again. Soon.
The kitchen is being completely cleaned and I have a new toilet seat. I never dreamed that the Kids would take such good care of me. It is a happy time for me because it reminds me of South Coogee when we had our apartment and raised ourselves up.
Ah My ! I am shit scared . Shattered. Muddled up. The discipline I knew in early recovery in the late 1980s is the only way I can stay sane this time. Absolutely holding my thinking within the day. Absolutely focussing on the blessings and gratitude.
When my mind begins to drift – I am in serious trouble. So with the night here. I take a look at the children playing together and thank god for the time spent with my son and daughter. Thank God that I somehow survived this one when they tell me noone thought I would.
Thank god for the mass of people supporting me.
And for the 7 years with a Music Man who loved me. I don’t know why our worlds exploded and I don’t yet know what damage is done.
But for tonight – my kitchen is cleaner than Iz and I ever managed and we have pizza and garlic bread about to be cooked.
All is well at this moment on this night.