Anthony – ICUsteps

I quickly went from feeling very unlucky to have been critically ill, to very lucky to be alive. But I totally underestimated in my own mind quite how disabled I was. I couldn’t walk, couldn’t sit up, couldn’t speak until I was allowed a speaking valve in my tracheostomy. Trying to make sense of the world when you can’t speak or write is hard – I had so many questions which I couldn’t ask. I couldn’t move my shoulders – they were totally frozen – and every time I was rolled in bed by the nurses my left leg delivered sharp shooting pains, due to some ossification in a muscle in my left hip, which I have since learnt happens to some people when the body undergoes extreme trauma. I remember sitting in a special chair next to my bed which the nurses had lifted me into and I couldn’t handle it for more than an hour as the weight of my knees was too much for my wasted calf muscles to bear. I cried to be put back to bed. I was 34 but I felt 94.

via Anthony – ICUsteps.

via Anthony – ICUsteps.

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