I feel mega crummy. MEGA. I am lonely and isolated and ill and hurt and – out of ideas and plans.
SUX. I would like to use a lot of swear words. I would like to howl at the Moon. Last year we did HALLOWEEN in style, The kids are out in the Bush so there are no trick or Treat places for them so Izzy did a Halloween shop and we turned up out there and surprised them all bigtime.
That is all gone now. I am here – nowhere to go. I hope I never again see his daughters. Life tonight looks truly bleak to me and I am inconsolable. This is one f***ed period of my life. I don’t use. I have done 3 meetings – and I MOURN – and feel extremely sorry for myself.
It is Halloween. Maybe the Ghosts are on the move. Spooking the bejeesus out of me.