I was freaked out about Facebook and Blogging today because of flak and insults and felt that I ought to go secretive and hidden again. But I am not. Buggered if Fear is going to make the choices for me.
“Desolation,” in stark contrast to “consolation”, he defined as the “darkness of the soul, turmoil of the mind, inclination to low and earthly things, restlessness resulting from many disturbances and temptations which lead to loss of faith, loss of hope, and loss of love. It is also desolation when a soul finds itself completely apathetic, tepid, sad, and separated .
Tonight I am hovering on the edge but strangely sleepless and haunted by images of trouble. People at the door and scarey things. I have been in Consolation for a few days and in that time made a few decisions. I shall trust them even though fright is upon me tonight. I stay the course.
1) When In Desolation, Stay The Course.
“In time of desolation one should never make a change, but stand firm and constant in the resolutions and decision which guided him the day before the desolation, or to the decision which he observed in the preceding consolation.”
In crisis, Ignatius warned, people are tempted to follow the guidance and counsel of the evil spirits. If one follows these spirits, they will “never find the correct way to a right decision”
I stay the course. That makes sense to me tonight. It was only the cancelling of the Instagram page and the flak from South coming at me like Evil Spirits. My decisions were made in sane times.
STAY THE COURSE.
Stay here until the Shack comes my way – or its divine equivalent.
When the Super is in my account, then contact the Girls and have them take possession of the Van. Leave everything else to be dealt with as it arises.
Find out how to get Homecare. Contact Masonics first for that.
Then return to swimming, meetings.
Tackle the clearing away here one at a time. Ask John to take a trailer load to the Tip.
Find out how much it costs to move a caravan.
Do at least one thing a day that I love.
2) In Desolation, Remember God Is Really There.
Even when it don’t feel like it. Even when things keep going wrong. Even when attacks are on.
3) The Most Important Thing In Desolation Is Patience.
Patience is a virtue because it tends to flee when we need it most. Yet patience is the most necessary virtue for persisting in desolation.
“One who is in desolation must strive to persevere in patience, which is contrary to the vexations that have come upon him”
PATIENCE. Just Patience, Lynne. Keep your thoughts away from the petty when you can and be patient. Do each day and do it simply without panicking. Don’t writhe and move and twist away from it. Do as you have done tonight. Get up and open the doors. Be patient . Allow the effects of the Dreaming begin to work their goodness in you. Turn away from the Petty.
4) In Desolation, Think Long-Term.
Patiently striving is essential in desolation. It’s also extremely difficult. In order to encourage patient persistence in desolation, Ignatius urged,
“He should consider, also, that consolation will soon return, and strive diligently against the desolation”
THINK LONG TERM.
I am only just beginning to form long term thinking. Just beginning to think that there might be a long term for me. One where I swim and have a wee cottage. One where I drive and travel and go out in a kayak. I shall make an appointment with the Liver Doc in Sydney. for next year.
And long term – well – my head clears. The Daemons of the Lasses will back off. They have always done so before. I just need to not feed them on my Fears.
In desolation, Ignatius did not advocate giving up, caving in, or otherwise throwing in the towel. Instead he urged that it was “advantageous to intensify our activity against the desolation. This can be done by insisting on prayer, meditation, frequent examinations, and by increasing our penance in some suitable manner”
Spirituality starves desolation.
For me – it drives me to all the manners of comfort I can find. Solace and direction. Tonight I am sleepless and that is unusual for me. Dancing sprites and daemons.
It is the nature of our enemy to become powerless, lose courage, and take to flight as soon as a person who is following the spiritual life stands courageously against his temptation”
I begin to grow tired again and a little less fearful . I was like this the night we were robbed in the resort at Long Jetty. Fluttery Fears all round me and disturbing half dreams. But not for the rest of tonight. Feck off, Haunting Monsters. I have had enough.
The Long Term is a good one. Visits to Eden and Coolangatta and Lismore. Maybe a plane trip. Another tattoo.