Sunday is nearing an end. I stayed home again today. So weary. Kate and IMM came and stripped the shelving from the Music Room. We Facetimed with Eden and began a shell necklace . Things are moving along. When I got up this morning there were curtains at the front door. Puzzled me for a moment . Actually it puzzled me for ages. Then Jen sent a message and it was her.
Today was Rumble and Markets but I was sensible this time and stayed in. I am loth to become ill again. The caravan is pretty good and I will be glad to have it there. No idea how to do it up but ideas will come. Sandra called in with $100 raised for me at the Rumble. I am a great Lover of the Community participation.
It seems to me that Grief and Illness are wrapped around one another like entwined giant figs. I never know which one is causing which and it doesn’t matter. I proceed. That’s all. I proceed. I like old craggy fishermen.
Tomorrow a big trailer is being brought here by IMM and we will throw our discards into it. $120 to take it to the Tip. Fecking bizarre world the 21st Century. Pay to take things to the Tip indeed ! Anyways – the trailer is coming so I had best move my car first thing in the morning.
I have a hairdresser’s appointment tomorrow. Weird thing for me to do. I might even go totally short. I just might. I like the nights when its dark and I am here alone. The brutal fear has eased somewhat. I may get nothing at all from his estate now but it don’t matter to me now. The Brutal Fear has eased. I have survived the Dreaming and the Illness and now I have been led to the BeachShack. Lots of work to do there but its there and I paid the bond and rent this morning. Reckon we can run a gas hose straight through the hole in the wall and the gas heater can hook up for next Winter. First – the Summer.