Some mornings when I wake up, the tide is in and the lagoon laps along the grass edging the houses but it goes out. That’s what the tide does. And that’s what its like for me these days.
The tide is in now and the skies are once again heavy and dark. Today A.H. came to give me a quote on he yard. $210 he said. I say fair enough. KT was here and knows him well and he’s a lovely young man. I felt very happy with his presence and attitude. And I think he can do it easily. I am still engaging with people I would have engaged with when I first dropped out and I like it.
So the tide came in and brought my daughter and granddaughter. Good food and love. The tide came in and brought the young man who will do my yard for me.
Now the tide goes out and I being to sift through what has been left for me. It looks pretty good.
TIMID. I have become timid again and afraid of consequences. Even of the smallest decisions. It will heal and is indeed doing so but I find it irritating at this stage of recovery. Regressed to earlier years. This week has felt a great deal better and I think the acupuncture is playing a role in that. Everything seems high risk – even what piece of fruit I buy at the shop.
I am however aware of it which is a good start. I have had not one episode of pain today and that is really good. I have Chinese Herbs and acupuncture and the physio and today was a healthy day for me.
I have prospect of getting the yard cleared and loved ones have visited and been on Facetime and I feel OK tonight.