Category Archives: GEMS

24 DEC 2014 : He was conscious of a thousand odours floating in the air, each one connected with a thousand thoughts, and hopes, and joys, and cares, long, long, forgotten. | the GEM COLLECTION 2014

24 DEC 2014 : HE WAS CONSCIOUS OF A THOUSAND ODOURS FLOATING IN THE AIR, EACH ONE CONNECTED WITH A THOUSAND THOUGHTS, AND HOPES, AND JOYS, AND CARES, LONG, LONG, FORGOTTEN.

via 24 DEC 2014 : He was conscious of a thousand odours floating in the air, each one connected with a thousand thoughts, and hopes, and joys, and cares, long, long, forgotten. | the GEM COLLECTION 2014.

via 24 DEC 2014 : He was conscious of a thousand odours floating in the air, each one connected with a thousand thoughts, and hopes, and joys, and cares, long, long, forgotten. | the GEM COLLECTION 2014.

ONE FINE MONDAY

PLAYDOUGH SAF PLAY DOUGH

The day passed well. I started with the Step 11 studies and then went into town to the Meeting and  Kate bought lunch from Urunga Bakery – good old fashioned food. The Girls visited  and Lis brought me spag bol for dinner. Meals on wheels delivered another week’s food but I shall cancel them tomorrow because:

a) its really bad food

b) its transported from far away and cooked far away from god knows what food.

Kate did a shop for me and I have fruit and lots of food. I have pictures of Max – the new baby in our world. He is on oxygen and in a humidicrib.

JB rang tonight and we bought 2 new books using his debit card. I ordered them and within seconds they were on my Kindle. Amazing. One is by Stephen Hunt – the author who introduced me to Steampunk. I first read him when I borrowed a book from Josi when Susan was dying in Port Macquarie. He read my Facebook post the other day when I ran out of books to read and reminded me that he was there. Now I have his latest book as well as one by Maistro – a New Orleans writer who was recommended to me by another Facebook friend – one from the USA. How good is this world ? Contact with people all over the place and books delivered in seconds.

And – company at a time when loneliness could destroy me.

And – access to information from all lover the world about all manner of things.

We made playdough thingos and blew bubbles and played in “Izzy’s Room”. Its an honourable time in my life.  I know now I am close to death most of the time and i have tasted its call and realise that each day could very well be my last without any warning at all. And so I sit. I come to the edge of being all steamed up – and then – a deep relax comes over me. And I taste the feel of being alive. And I like it. I eat the Spaghetti Bolognaise cooked by that beautiful young woman and I smile. I take a look at the fridge filled with foods my daughter has chosen and I smile. I speak with my son on the phone – and I am content.

One time – long ago – Roger told me that I would one day be a Matriarch. it seemed most unlikely at the time. I was in a drug detox, trashed and without friend or family. But he was right. And I am now NANA. Have been for a long time.  I wish it were still Nana and Izzy – but its not. We have his legacy and it is a good one.

And I have ME – sitting here at night. Quiet and peaceful. I have a very swollen right side which I think is the liver and some pain – but for tonight it just don’t matter. This day is MINE.

clarz close

HAVEA LITTLE CRY BY RALPH GRAHAM

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Ralph Graham Wrote this a while back. Hard to perform. Wonder why…

HAVE A LITTLE CRY

Big wide eyes My tiny child
lookin right into me Really wild
Had a little cry

Saw that mother Never seen
Sadder eyes In my life
Babe in her arms Spirit’s gone
Broke my heart
Had a little cry

So much emotion
Like the wind blows
All that manly stuff
is out the window
when you feel it, just
let your head go
let your heart have it’s way
and…
Have a little cry

had a little cry had a little cry
go ahead girl have a little cry
go ahead man have a little cry

when she 2 years old she’s your baby
when he almost 14 he’s your baby

when you see them on the stage or laughing out loud
your head’s in a cloud so proud
Your heart rises to the sky
and you…
Have a little cry

Something goes wrong will I lose my lover?
will I lose my child? will I lose my brother?

you feel the fear you shed a tear
and you, have a little cry

never be ashamed there’s no one to blame
after sun comes rain then the sun again
and… (if you know what’s good for you… )
you’ll…
Have a little cry
Ralph Graham – 2010

THE END OF A MONDAY

screenshot 2014-08-25 23.09.33

 

I am not writing very much tonight. I may not even post today’s photographs even though it were an enjoyable day. I am happy tonight. I was with this lovely man for 7 years. Listening to his voice and watching those beautiful hands. Soon, I may be able to write about him. Instead of only sorrowing and panicking. For tonight – Pictures. Pictures of the life we had.

I have eaten well. Shopped with my Girls and the terrible cramps are not on me today. I did a meeting and checked mail and did grocery shopping. I spoke with my brother and my aunt and uncle are coming tomorrow.

sandy izzy vines2.jpg

For tonight that is enough. Iz, I miss you.

 iz and john m

Jen Cloher » ARCHIE ROACH

On Sunday the 7th of March I experienced the most moving concert of my life. Sitting side of stage in the dark, I watched Archie Roach perform a raw and heart-wrenching tribute to the life of his partner and musical soul mate Ruby Hunter.Archie had been named as the Port Fairy Folk Festival ‘Artist of the Year’. The program noted that this would be his official Live CD launch, a celebration of his enormous contribution to Australian music culture. When the program was printed no-one expected that he would be in mourning, having only just buried his wife the Friday before.

via Jen Cloher » ARCHIE ROACH.

via Jen Cloher » ARCHIE ROACH.

Step Four Prayer – Freedom from Resentment – Step 4 of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

Freedom from Resentment Most people initially baulk at the idea of wishing for good to come to people who have hurt them.To overcome this hurdle we first need to understand “resentment”, and appreciate the damage that carrying resentments does to ourselves. When you have found the desire to overcome your resentments you are ready to proceed… Step Four Prayer When a person offended we said to ourselves,”This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.” The Step 4 Prayer from “How it Works”page 66 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous

via Step Four Prayer – Freedom from Resentment – Step 4 of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

via Step Four Prayer – Freedom from Resentment – Step 4 of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.