Geez. I had a good night’s sleep and got up early just to look around at things and then whammee, in comes the Hurting again. I surely wasn’t expecting that. Not one amp. Not one muso. Not one green mike stand. Feck you, Girls.
Surely miss you, Iz. Who the Hell is going to laugh with me again. Who is going to go on long walks with me and sit iin doctors’ surgeries. Who is going to take me out to dinner and lie beside me through the night.
Who am I going to show my world to. Who is going to travel longways with me. I am all shattered and broken and some of the glue isn’t holding on the bits I have been putting back together.
Its raining and raining and soggy and soggy. And I can barely keep going on. All crumbled. I know things I would like to do and things I HAVE to do – but I can’t do them. Let it rain then. Somehows I might need to make an even deeper change. Running feral looking like I am changing won’t sustain me. I need to sit right here and be truly altered. Its crying time again.