Another day is done with some recovery talk and action. My emotions are not actually in sync with my actions yet but some day they will coordinate.
I met a man from Phoenix tonight. I have never been to a desert. All the musical world walked out the door last night and drove off in the Kombi. Layer and then an other layer. I had the sense to call another member and talk longtime of progressed recovery and illness and grief and pain.
I have begun creating the world into which I shall have to move. Filling the Izzy space very carefully.
I posted some more of Leona’s iPad shots of the funeral and slept a little in the afternoon and then my 2 young people picked me up and took me to Meeting in Bellingen. That was good for me because the Rehab boys were there and that is what life is about for me – recovery from drug addiction.
The Man from Phoenix was there and he suggested that I come to Phoenix . Some days I think its do-able. Phoenix and New York State and Boston and Paris.
After the meeting we had Indian Dinner at Chilli Affair where Izzy and I ate most Saturday nights.
The Jehovah’s Witness to whom I lent $20 the other day was there and she had left the money here but I didn’t know. When I came home I found it inside a pamphlet which I had not read.
Then Jim and Maddy came online on Facetime and we companioned as we do on weekends. Now the day is done. And I am clean and all is well – just for now. All is well and I am doing the Resentment Prayings.
When a person offended we said to ourselves,
“This is a sick man.
How can I be helpful to him?
God save me from being angry.
Thy will be done.“
page 66 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous
Replacing Resentment with Love
If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them,
you will be free.
Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and
you will be free.
Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway.
Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.
page 552 of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous